When you've been involved with a married man,
and you've decided you're never gonna see him again,
here's what you do.
You don't call him.
Even if he calls you.
Even if you listen to the message a few times.
That's what you do all day long.
You don't call him back.
And all you want is something else to think about...
...anything else.
- This is a genius idea. - You really think so?
Well, one night, I couldn't sleep.
I once heard about this dry cleaner for singles.
You could leaf through photos when you picked up your clothes.
- If you saw someone you liked... - But your idea is even better.
People recommending books to each other and having that be
how they decide if they want to meet.
I mean, I judge people by what books they like.
- I don't mean judge, but... - So, what do you think?
It's great. It sounds like a great idea.
What was wrong with the cappuccino machine?
- Vapor lock. - Gracie, can you give me a hand?
See, this is where the photos will be, along with the book recommendations.
So that's what you're calling this idea, Booklovers?
Booklovers should be the name of the store.
- I was thinking that. - What?
Um, my Sister's Bookstore just doesn't sound...
It sounds like a lesbian bookstore, mom.
No, it doesn't.
It kind of does, Lily. I've taken an informal poll.
I want to match everyone up, not just lesbians.
Zoe, honey, don't stand on top of people.
I think it's brilliant. You could put flyers up all over town.
This is your friend from the pottery class?
Yeah, debra. I don't know about flyers.
I'm taking a full-page ad in the Evanston Review.
- You're kidding! - No, I'm not.
Once a week, I want to have Booklovers' Night.
Oh, so that's how you get them in the store.
- Hopefully. - A full-page ad?
If they don't come, they won't get to meet each other.
- All done. - Oh, great. Uh...
So who do I make it out to?
Oh, just, you know, me... will Gluck.
Okay. Today's what, the 12th?
So, what does that cost for a full-page ad?
- G-L-U-c-k? - Yeah.
Uh, are you expecting a lot of people in here?
- Mm-hmm. - You know, if you move this thing,
uh, just spin it 90 degrees, you'll have a whole other...
Here, grab this end right here...
...and move it toward the wall this way.
- Okay. - Yeah.
Will you look at this?
- Why didn't we ever think of this? - What's back here?
The little fenced-in area that leads to the alley.
Huh.
You've got a lot of space you're not using.
I've been thinking that.
And it's so sad.
I've watched her delude herself like this so many times.
Well, matchmaking is a big business.
It's just I've lived through all this before.
The new plan, gonna solve everything.
When it all goes kaflooey,
it's my job to piece her back together. Well, I can't.
I have a job, a teenager and a pre-teenager
and an ex-husband and a...
- And a me? - And a you.
I don't have time for her screw-ups.
And get this, she's thinking about changing the name of the store
to Booklovers.
What, you think that's a better name?
So how are people supposed to pick each other, exactly?
From the books or the pictures on the wall?
Well, exactly. It's too complicated.
To pick one title from every book you've ever read.
Your mind goes blank.
In Cold Blood.
That's your favorite book?
- In Cold Blood? - It's a classic.
I know. It's just... very dark.
You know, I always thought my Sister's Bookstore
made it sound like it was mainly for women.
What else you want me to cut up?
* The mere idea of you
* The longing here for you
* You'll never know how slow
* The moments go
* Till I'm near to you *
So he's your ex-brother-in-law?
Yeah, and I hope he can get me a deal on wine because...
Look at this. It isn't even the weekend.
- Judy? - Yeah?
Tiffany. It was me on the phone.
- Oh, hi. - Yeah, hi.
We'll get you guys a table in just a second. Jake had to...
Here he is.
Hey, how are ya?
- I found them. - Hi.
So I said to Jake, "does she look like Lily?"
'Cause I've met Lily and he was, like, "No, not at all."
So...
do you always do this kind of business now?
Well, yeah.
It's him. He had this whole...
well, it was that review in the Trib.
Babe, that's not... no. He saw it, like a vision.
Well, I don't know...
Jake, it was a vision. I know. I have them all the time.
My last Blind melon show, I saw a dark cloud over Shannon Hoon.
A week later, he's dead.
But to have a vision of a restaurant...
...it blows me away.
Rosie, can I have a cranberry juice, please?
You got it.
Sure thing. Mm-hmm.
Thanks. You too.
Damn venture capitalists.
- Is something wrong? - Shut the door.
Two months ago, they swore they would do another round of financing.
Now it's all about bringing partners in.
I am such an idiot. I actually thought that we could stay independent.
- Let me order some lunch. - I can't eat.
They're thinking of bringing in a managing editor.
"Get the business side together."
Well, but that can make your job easier.
Oh, tons easier. Non-existent, even.
Not necessarily. You can hold your own.
Don't you understand? I have given my life to this magazine,
and now I have no life.
If I were seeing someone, I could probably laugh all of this off.
That's what really makes me want to puke.
Actually, I do want lunch.
Two grande, no-foam lattes.
- Name? - Judy.
Two grande no-foam lattes.
You're up next. What's your order?
- Judy? - Oh, hi.
Uh, karen.
You don't remember me.
Oh, no, of course I do. I just, um...
I come here all the time, and I've never seen you.
I'm doing some work for a conservancy over on Locust.
Listen, you've got to come by my store again.
I'm doing this whole singles thing.
- See? - Wow, look at this.
Yeah, well, it costs a lot.
Something is really weird with my teeth.
Booklovers, that's a great name.
My front bottom teeth feel different, when I touch here with my...
Anyway. You really like it?
- Mmm. - I spent all this money.
Well, you got to spend money to make money, so...
Hey, let me match you up with someone.
Unless, are you still with that guy, that too-young-for-you one?
Yeah, yeah. I don't know why.
- Two no-foam lattes. - Oh, thanks.
- Hey, uh, listen, I should go. - Oh, well, come by the store.
- I'm there all the time. - Yeah, yeah, okay.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Judy. - Hi.
- Hey. - Um, excuse me.
You know that dating service you were mentioning to your friend?
- Is that a video thing? - It's in my bookstore.
- What friend? - Um, here, look.
It's, uh, just somebody I ran into.
Hey, it's not video. It's in her bookstore.
- Is that the...? - My ad came out.
I should have gotten a muffin.
- Mmm. Here, switch with me. - Oh, thanks.
I can't stay long. I promised will Gluck...
who? You mean the repair guy?
Yeah. I'm hiring him to fix up the alley.
You know, you have to spend money to make money.
You sure he's experienced enough?
You think I'd hire him if he wasn't experienced?
- So you've done this before, right? - Well, stuff like this.
I was thinking we could just clear all this out...
maybe.
Strip this down.
Put up some lights,
a trellis...
...a fountain...
maybe.
Could you be done by Friday?
- Hey! - Judy!
- Wow, this place is really... - what are you doing here?
I have this idea. It might seem a little crazy,
but, see, it just came to me like a vision.
PagesAlive should cover it, what I'm doing at Booklovers.
I know it seems early, but this is when I need publicity.
- Once this thing catches on... - I understand. I just, you know...
If you could just get her to come this Friday.
- Christie? - Yeah, PagesAlive.
It's a perfect story for them.
Yeah. She's just swamped right now.
It doesn't have to be right this minute, but could you ask her tomorrow?
Uh...
I wouldn't ask if it weren't, you know...
I just really need this to work.
I know. I'll ask her.
It's just classic Judy to put me in this position.
The last thing christie needs
is me suggesting a story about my sister's bookstore.
Why don't you tell Judy you just don't want to do it?
What, you never had a sibling?
I try to be honest with my brother.
All that not speaking to him probably helps.
- When do I meet christie? - You're not gonna meet christie.
- He's not? - I'm not?
No. He's just going to reject her.
You reject people for not measuring up to some standard of perfection.
That is not true. Some measure up. They just won't go out with me.
It's a defense. It keeps people at a safe distance.
- He should not meet her. - Is she ugly?
- Oh, david. - You see, you see?
What is ugly? What's beautiful? What about mother Teresa?
There's the age difference and she's deceased, but, hey, give her my number.
Okay, your assessment of my behavior may have some basis in fact.
What is this?
- Dad! - Rosie.
- What are you doing? - Homework, in advance.
She starts bartending school next week.
- What? - I told you ten million times.
Pays better than the radio station and it's perfect for me.
I love people and I love measuring drinks,
and Rosie's leaving.
This way you won't have to look for somebody new.
So, what are bitters, exactly?
Oh, hi. What's up?
What are you doing?
This is gonna be the fountain.
- Oh, how? - Pardon?
How does it go from rubble to a fountain?
How do you do anything, you know? You just do it.
Hello?
- Oh, gosh, hi. - Hi.
- This is a great idea, Judy. - Thanks.
Oh, I don't believe it.
- Lloyd Lloyd. - Who who?
I went out with this guy.
And his last name is also Lloyd?
- Yeah. - So, what happened?
Nothing. I just... No chemistry on my part.
So his parents named him Lloyd and their last name is Lloyd?
He's very nice. He's a very nice man.
I just felt so guilty.
I really hope he meets someone.
Just seeing him hanging up there,
like he'd done something wrong.
- I hope you meet someone. - What? Oh!
Come on. You came all the way down here.
- I've been working... - karen...
you know you want to. You don't want to?
I'm involved with someone.
Oh, no, I know, but will you think about it?
Lily won't be here, I guarantee.
- That's not why I won't. - Oh, I know.
I'm just saying...
She won't be.
I wish I could go to that Booklovers thing.
'Cause will might be there?
- Shut up. - Who's will?
- Will Gluck. - That is not the reason.
No, no, no, not with napkins.
Use fists.
What Booklovers thing?
That Aunt Judy's doing, that singles thing.
You know, where people meet each other,
that mom thinks is a waste of money?
I think will Gluck is nice.
A nice adult and that's all.
Maybe I should do this singles Booklovers thing.
- Dad. - Dad, it's to meet people.
- Yeah, so? - So, you have Tiffany.
Right.
Hey.
So you actually changed the name of the store?
- You're not upset, are you? - No, I'm just... I'm not upset, no.
Good. So, did you talk to christie?
Actually, no. I'm going to. I am.
It's exactly the kind of thing they're always covering.
I know. It's just they're bringing this new guy in.
- Look, if you're not gonna do it... - No, Judy.
I said I was. I need to time it. It's counter-productive...
No, I understand.
It's just people are always looking for ways to meet people.
Not everyone can be you and meet someone
before they're officially separated in the carpool line at school.
True.
How's it going?
You know.
Hi. Lily.
- I was here, you know... - Oh, yeah. Hi.
I took out a few landscaping books that I thought you could look at for ideas.
Oh, I kind of have something in mind.
- Oh. - I'll be right back.
He's cute.
- I didn't hire him to have sex with. - Who said anything about having sex?
That's who she sees me with, the cappuccino machine repair guy,
where she's with the successful architect.
Not that it's a competition.
- All I said was he was cute. - So you have sex with him.
- I don't want to have sex with him. - Neither do I. I'm sorry.
It's just Booklovers' Night is the day after tomorrow, and I'm just...
I'm having this weird feeling with my teeth,
like the inside of my teeth feel funny.
- Maybe you have a cavity. - No, it's not pain. It's...
Never mind. Look, I don't mean to pressure you.
It's okay.
- I'll call you. - Okay.
- After I've spoken to christie. - Thanks.
Bye.
Ooh, shut the door.
I need your advice. I don't know what to do.
Christie, people here are on your side even if they do bring in someone new.
Think I should do this?
- You've lost all respect for me? - No.
My friend is doing it. It could be cheesy,
but, you know, you'd be in a bookstore...
No, this is... This is...
...my sister's bookstore.
What? No, no, I think it's called Booklovers.
This used to be called my Sister's Bookstore,
which used to be my bookstore, which is now my sister's bookstore.
It is your sister's bookstore?
It's no longer called my Sister's Bookstore.
Well, she changed the name to Booklovers.
Thank God. It's a much better name.
Well, should I do it?
See, the thing is, she just started it,
- and I'm... - Because I'm desperate.
Do you want to know how desperate?
Okay, that guy david you said asked about me?
I have a whole fantasy about him.
You do?
Total detailed fantasy.
Oh, christie, I have no idea what his situation is.
I will not have you fix us up because it's always a nightmare.
Oh, good. Good.
I mean, if our paths should cross spontaneously, great, but...
Oh, my God.
I can't even believe I just told you.
It's just, you're so unjudgmental.
Oh, I feel I could tell you anything.
Well, good.
So, this Booklovers thing,
would you do it?
Well, it's hard to...
I'm just not really clear how it's all going to work.
I'm not saying you shouldn't try it.
You should try it.
Okay, now I feel terrible.
You hear about something and you think,
"wow, that's the answer."
And it never is.
Still, it might be fun.
But will I find what I'm looking for?
- Well, what are you looking for? - David.
Lily, I'm joking.
Oh, my God. You have no sense of humor.
- All set? - Yeah.
Okay, stand right over here.
No, actually here.
That's it. Okay.
- Hey. - Hey.
So how's it going? How's the fountain?
Oh, it's hard to say.
Okay, I want this one to look, you know,
less like I'm trying.
Gotcha.
- What's wrong with this one? - Ugh. Makes me look too serious.
You recommend a book about a suicide hot line.
It's The Slender Thread. It's not depressing at all.
What's wrong with being serious?
Pick another book, a book that made you laugh.
- Lucky Jim. - Great.
- Oh, I love it. - What?
Just a sec.
Look, is there a problem? 'Cause if there is...
I just don't get it. I don't understand how it works.
- The fountain? - You told your friend not to choose
the book that she chose, to choose another one.
- It just seems kind of... - This is what's bothering you?
Well, no, it's not bothering me.
It just seems kind of pointless and phony.
All I said to her was...
Look, suppose it was me, okay?
My favorite book is Franny and Zooey. Or Zoo-ey, I've heard it both ways.
There is an association, right, with adolescence.
It's about a girl who thinks she's having a nervous breakdown.
It's your favorite book?
Yes, but I'm trying to make a point,
which is that I might prefer, in this situation,
to choose another book because people might presuppose
a connection between myself and that character.
There's no connection between you both?
- No, there is, obviously, but... - Then that should be your book.
But there are other books I have read where people aren't having breakdowns.
If my aim is to put my best foot forward...
It's kind of hard to explain if you haven't...
If I haven't read the book.
No, I meant...
Look, I'm sorry you think it's pointless.
Obviously, I don't agree.
How come you're not on the wall in there?
- Now who's assuming things? - What? No, I'm not.
You're assuming I'm not with someone.
Well, are you?
No.
- Oh, hi. - Hi.
- Hey.
I was, uh, admiring the...
This is a smart move.
This isn't a waste of money.
Who said it was a waste of money?
- No, nobody. - I'll be back later.
- Who was that? - Will Gluck.
- Oh, that's will Gluck. - You know will Gluck?
No, no, it, uh...
doesn't Gluck mean "happiness"
in German or something?
I doubt it.
So how many are you expecting?
I really couldn't tell you.
I'll have my bartender drop by tomorrow with the, uh,
wine and cheese and everything.
I have no idea, no idea what the alley's going to look like.
That's okay. I'll just...
Or if the stupid fountain's gonna work. Washtubs.
That's what he's using, rusty old washtubs.
Wonder what book I'd recommend.
But you're seeing that girl I met the other night, right?
Ann Rule. Ever read Ann Rule?
The Stranger Beside Me? It's a great book.
A true crime, like In Cold Blood.
That's a book I could read again.
Tiffany's great.
I'm just, uh,
I'm not sure she's what I'm looking for.
Okay, glasses off.
Okay, yeah, that's right.
- Thank you so much. - For what?
Like you had nothing to do with it. She was so positive, she loved it.
Christie was there?
Hey.
Yeah, I just took her picture. She's on my board.
Uh-huh.
Should we just leave it or...?
Yeah. Yeah, let's go. I'm going to be late for work.
- Are you sure...? - She's busy. We should go.
I didn't ask where she wants the stuff.
- Bye. - Oh, bye. Thanks.
- See? She said goodbye. - Honey, isn't that great?
Yeah, it's... It is.
She's coming to Booklovers Night.
I should come, too, to support you.
- Really? - Definitely.
That means a lot to me. Thanks.
I'll see you tonight.
Oh, don't look yet. It'll be done soon.
- The World According to Garp. - A Confederacy of Dunces.
- As I Lay Dying. - Memoirs of a Geisha.
- The Count of Monte Cristo. - Bridget Jones's Diary.
- A Prayer for Owen Meany. - The Red Badge of Courage.
My Life and Loves by Frank Harris. It's, like, the dirtiest book.
House by Tracey kidder. It's about building a house.
I mean, if anyone really knew...
... how bad it's been, and, you know,
the things I put myself through...
... just on the chance, the hope,
that I might meet someone.
It's just so hard to believe
that this is my life.
I never pictured myself alone.
- Lily! - Hey!
- Isn't this hilarious? - I know.
- When you spoke to my sister... - I mean, look at this.
- Hi. - Hi. Hey.
You okay?
He promised me the patio would be finished. It isn't finished.
It's all so first day of school.
You don't need a patio. People can mingle in here.
It's kind of nerdy and embarrassing,
but it has got to be in our magazine.
I had this feeling. That's why I asked Lily to tell you.
Is there wine or something to drink?
I didn't hear about this from Lily.
- You didn't? - No. Wait, tell her.
Tell her how I heard about it.
Yeah, Lily, tell her.
It was from my spinning instructor.
- Is that hilarious? - Hilarious.
Then, when I found out the two of you were sisters,
it was so synchronistic.
Lily, you look so serious. Look, have some wine.
I'm going to do research for my article, quote unquote.
Judy...
Judy.
Judy, I... I was waiting for the right moment.
Next thing I know, she's showing me the ad.
I mean, that's what happened.
- No. - Yes, it is, Judy.
You asked me to speak to her about it,
and I was about to, and then all...
you don't work for her, okay?
She's been tense and distracted and I had to wait till the right moment.
I don't know what you think I was doing, just stalling?
Yes.
I'm gonna get something out of the truck.
Don't look yet. I don't want you to see it till it's finished.
You said it would be finished by tonight.
It will be. I'm just about done.
- You've been saying that all day. - Well, this time it's true.
Is that what you believe of me,
that I was stalling? Why would I do that?
- You tell me why. - I don't know.
I don't know what you think I could have to gain.
Lily... you've been against this thing...
No, not against it.
Nothing I'm trying to do here
has been any good according to you.
I was concerned you were diving in without thinking.
You're so judgmental. I can't tell you anything.
Well...
...maybe I have been a little.
Honestly, I didn't mean to be.
- You don't want me to succeed. - What?
It's so obvious, I can't believe I haven't seen it.
Judy, that is not true.
Oh, my gosh. It's true.
- Lloyd? - Mm-hmm?
- Have you met debra? - Hi.
You have to read her book. It's hilarious.
Okay.
Hi.
Where's your title?
So how did you get the idea?
Well, one night I couldn't sleep, and, um...
This will just take a sec.
It's beautiful.
Yeah, it kind of turned out okay, didn't it?
- I shouldn't have doubted you. - Oh, well, you know,
you say you're gonna do something, you know?
- You had a vision. - A what?
No.
So, uh, you doubted me?
Yeah. I was...
wrong?
Would you want to, uh, I mean...
Oh, no, you know?
I've got some things I should do.
- Not even one glass of wine? - Well, I have a dog.
I mean, I hope you're not... what kind of dog?
It's just the regular kind.
You hope that I'm not what?
Look, the other day, I'm sorry if, um...
when I made that assumption about you,
I shouldn't have made it.
I'm sorry.
I've been on my own since I was 16.
I lived out of my car for a whole year,
so I don't expect things to be fair.
But there's a certain kind of woman who, when she sees me,
all she sees is someone who's not good enough,
and that's always the woman I want.
- What assumption? - You know.
Oh, God, uh, that you hadn't read Franny and Zooey.
Oh, well, I'm not much of a reader.
You could've read it in high school and not even remember.
That's when everyone reads Salinger.
I didn't exactly finish high school.
Do your teeth still feel funny?
I heard you mention it the other day to your sister.
You just woke up one day and they kind of felt different?
- Yeah, like... - Like on the inside.
- Exactly. - I mean, there's one certain spot,
and you have to keep touching it with your tongue.
I've had that.
It's a strange feeling.
Yeah.
So does Gluck really mean "happiness"?
You got me.
Uh, listen, good luck with everything.
I hope everyone meets their match.
- Well, this is... - Hi.
Hi. Of course, you're here. Of course, I'm here.
Oh, I'm not actually participating.
I'm just here as a friend of Judy's.
Oh.
Got it. This was my first choice, The Slender Thread.
It's about a suicide hot line.
- Hi. - Debra, karen. Karen, debra.
Hi.
I should get House. We're buying each other our books.
You want to come help me find the book?
Sure.
Yeah, Phil's. You know, over on Third.
It's a, uh...
It's a good place.
- You should come in sometime. - Oh, I'd love to.
Can I get you something?
- Sure. - Yeah.
- The Rules, because, um... - Because I love science fiction.
- Oh. - And you recommend...
Christ in Concrete by Pietro di donato. Nobody's ever heard of it.
- I've heard of it. - Really?
Yeah, I read it in college in one night.
- Not beautiful enough. - Gay.
Um, I'm going to get some more.
Uh-huh. Have fun.
You use big words. I like big words. What does it mean?
I'll try to simplify it. Hasn't your mother or anyone ever explained to you
some things are proper and some things are not?
There's no way to justify my behavior.
- Well... - you know what I am?
In the wrong.
It's like someone handed me a pamphlet
"How To Be In The wrong," and I followed the directions exactly.
You're thinking I'm too hard on myself.
Oh.
I can still like you and think you're wrong.
I know... sort of.
I mean, I love her.
I want her to have a good life.
- I just... - Just not too good.
It'll be okay.
You'll call her tomorrow...
Oh, I know.
And you'll make up,
kiss and make up like you always do.
Well, people are definitely finding each other.
This was a terrible idea.
What?
What was I thinking,
now I'm supposed to spend my life
watching happy couples find each other?
What's the point of that?
- Judy... - don't you see?
I just dove in headfirst. I didn't bother to...
I have no idea what I'm doing.
No, you do know what you're doing,
you just don't know that you know.
Karen, the guy that I told you about,
the guy I'm in love with...
He's married.
See, last night I watched this documentary
about the making of The Wizard of Oz.
They interviewed all these people who worked on the film,
and this one man who played one of the munchkins,
he was young when he got the part.
He'd lived his whole life on a farm.
He'd never met another little person.
And when he got to that set,
he couldn't believe what he was seeing.
And that's how I felt meeting Sam,
like I finally found another munchkin.
And he's gone.
Come here.
Look at this.
People are connecting because of you.
I mean, this whole thing might have started
because of you and Sam,
but it's much bigger than that now.
I should go.
Oh, gosh, all those people tonight
desperately trying to read each other's minds,
read each other's signals.
All they really want is to be pulled down off the shelf and...
- Enjoyed. - Yeah.
There's all this love
that no one ever receives,
like letters without stamps
or all the food that goes to waste
that we just throw away,
and there are people going to bed hungry and lonely.
I recommend Franny and Zooey... or Zoo-ey,
because she has a nervous breakdown,
and it turns out to be a really good idea.
I remember taking my SATs a second time. My scores really improved.
- How'd it go? - Fine.
So you feel good about it.
- I think I scored you a gig. - What is it?
I can't wait to hear Eli's band.
Put this band thing on hold.
Dad, I am 17! You cannot tell me what to do anymore!
I'm not going to stand by and watch you make the biggest mistake of your life!